Rocket Raccoon Laughs at your 11 Percent

Earlier today I found myself tagged in a conversation on Facebook. Something a friend of mine being able to “move like Jagger.” I don’t fully understand the meaning of that song. Probably because I never really paid attention to the lyrics. Considering it’s by Maroon 5, I’m going to go with “highly suggestive in a sensual manner.” By the way, feel free to read that quotation in Zapp Brannigan’s voice. I know I did :)

futurama Zapp

Regardless of what my friend really meant by his remark, the very first reaction that came to mind for a response was Rocket Raccoon’s outburst upon hearing Peter Quill’s 11-percent complete plan. First, I looked for just that clip on YouTube, only to find that no one had made one. All that’s available is the entire Guardians of the Galaxy extended trailer from where the clip is.

So…I made one myself.

Normally this wouldn’t be possible for me, but I realized that I get press releases from Disney/Marvel! Whenever a new trailer or official poster comes out, I get hi-res everything for the website I write for. I took the extended trailer, fired up iMovie, and sliced out Rocket’s sarcastic laughter. Voila! A perfectly appropriate reaction video to some dumb thing you see on the internet.

You’re welcome. 

Mirror Mirror, Who’s the Craziest of Them All?

The Mental Deconstruction of Roderick Usher

Note: this is a paper I wrote in April 2008 on Edgar Allen Poe’s short story “The Fall of the House of Usher.” I had a bad habit of turning in a first draft if I was never required to write a rough piece beforehand. Hopefully this re-write, will solve all or most of the problems the original final draft had. Anyway, enjoy. And, um, don’t plagiarize, desperate/lazy youths. M’kay?

Usher house

Edgar Allen Poe is an extremely close writer; no word is useless and show be scrutinized carefully.  Roderick Usher is the main focus of Poe’s short story, “The Fall of the House of Usher.”  There are, indeed, many problems going on in his mind that later infect the Narrator, who is unnamed.  Another central, yet barely mentioned, character is Roderick’s identical twin sister Madeline.  She is cataleptic and looks almost dead.  All three characters are victims of a mental breakdown.  Madeline reminds Roderick of death — not only his death, but the death of their family house; Roderick is plagued by the pressure he has to uphold as the last son in a long line of artists; and the Narrator is not only affected by the gloomy appearance of nature, but is also affected by the negativity of Roderick.  One argument for the story is that the Narrator, Roderick, and Madeline are all the same person split into three personalities.  The purpose of the Narrator is to witness the adverse effects of isolation and to reach out of the Usher name and begin anew.

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Women, E3 2014, VIDEO GAMES!

Earlier this week, I decided to host a Google Hangout on Air featuring three awesome women gamers and myself, talking about this year’s E3. Joining me in the live event, which aired last night, were Stephanie Cooke, Sam Maggs, and Jessa Phillips. I invited Dodger Leigh to join our conversation, but she was still busy with E3, and she was preparing to flee — I mean! — take a trip to Europe.

We were having a rough time getting started. Half of us were able to make it into the event while the other half couldn’t find the invite. Then I accidentally closed the event on myself and couldn’t find a way back in as the host. It took an hour for me to figure out what happened, find a way a back in, and then give up and make a new event. Bottom line, Google needs to get their shit together and make this whole process easier. I don’t like jumping through hoops.

Anyway, we FINALLY got started…almost an hour later from the scheduled start time. Once we got everyone in, the event went swimmingly! We ladies know our games, we (or rather *I*) just don’t know how Google operates anything past their email and search engines. Enjoy the video below!

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Celebrate Poetry, All Month Long

Christina E. Janke:

I’m super bad with poetry, but I’ll give it a shot…

Originally posted on WordPress.com News:

NaPoWriMo , or National Poetry Writing Month, is back!

NaPoWriMo is an annual project in which participants write a poem each day in April. It unfolds in the tradition of NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month, held in November) and motivates, inspires, and engages poets of all levels, genres, and backgrounds.

While a poem a day is your ultimate goal, there’s really no “right” way to participate. Start today and keep at it, and experiment as you see fit. Focus entirely on sonnets, or experiment with free verse. Participate on your own, or collaborate with others. Publish on your blog, or experiment offline.

Ideas to get started

  • Publish poems each day, focusing on a different genre each week.
  • Handwrite poems in a journal, for your eyes only.
  • Start a collective with others, plan themes for April, and publish poems on your own blogs focused on these themes.
  • Create a new blog or group site specifically for this monthly challenge.

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D&D Personality Quiz, a.k.a No Wonder I Sucked as an Assassin…

Barbarians are savage warriors who deal out powerful blows from their mighty weapons. They charge from foe to foe and seldom feel the pain of an enemy’s strike. For barbarians’ foes, the moments of greatest terror come when barbarians call upon primal forces to lend power to their raging spirits. These rages, although temporary, give a barbarian incredible powers, a combination of skill, willpower, and a legacy of ancient tribal rituals.

As a barbarian, you have a link to powerful nature spirits and other primal forces bound to the warriors of your tribe by the songs and totems of your legacy. These spirits lend energy to your rages, transforming you into a devastating force on the battlefield. As you become more experienced, these rages transcend mortal limitations, manifesting directly as waves of elemental power or gifting you with supernatural recuperative powers.

When the heat of battle is upon you, will you respond with a sudden charge that fells with one mighty swing of your weapon, or with a prolonged rage that leaves destroyed foes in your wake?

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A Few of My Favorite Features I’ve Written Elsewhere…

In the time that I’ve been mostly away from Intro to Geek, I’ve been writing for Agents of Geek. I have a total of seven pages worth of posts. Most of which I’m proud. Below are some of my favorites.

10) 5 Awesome Things We Saw at E3 2013

9) FuzziLovies are Good for a Baby’s Eyesight

8) Watch FLIGHT FROM SHADOW, a WHEEL OF TIME Fan-Film

7) “Cell Block Tango” With a Disney Spin

6)  The End of the World is Nigh! – The Best End of The World Stories

5) Underrated Video Games We’ll Probably Never See Again

4) 75 Years of Superman in an Animated Short

3) Video Games that Left Us an Emotional Wreck

2) THE WALKING DEAD: SEASON TWO “All That Remains” Review

1) Author Spreads Love with THE FIFTH BEATLE

There you have it! Now I’m going to get my ass handed to me on XCOM: Enemy Within. Somehow I keep getting worse every time I repeat a mission — stupid train! I can’t seem to keep all of my guys alive. I won twice, but at the cost of one man. I’m starting to think at least one death is inevitable for this mission…

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Big Trouble in Little Comic Book Land

Wow. I would first like to apologize for my inactivity on this blog. Whodathunk having a 9-5 day job and a residential care facility for the mentally handicapped AND  an Editor-in-Chief position at Agents of Geek would sap up a lot of my creative writing juices. I promise I’m not doing this on purpose. Luckily! This blog isn’t the only place you can find me on the internet. Not only do I make regular posts on Agents of Geek — excluding this holiday season — but I’m also on Twitter and Shauncastic’s Intro to Geek!

Between my last post and now, I also made a guest appearance on RevCast with Gary Mitchell and Tegan Hendrickson, and Bastardcast with Jason Tabrys and Jeremy (sorry, I forgot his last name). I’m in such high demand right now! [flips hair]

Speaking of podcasts, I recorded two during my absence. One for Intro to Geek and one on the show-proper.

Big Trouble in Little China

Intro to Geek: Listen to my review of BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE CHINA

A lot of people have been saying that this latest episode of Intro is the most controversial by far. I guess? Shaun and I definitely have polar opposite opinions on BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE CHINA. Come take a listen and see which one of us thought it was good, and which one thought it was totally awful.

And now for the latest episode of Shauncastic…

alan moore

Shauncastic: Listen to Shaun, me, and company talk about Alan Moore’s most recent cluster-cuss of a stunt. He’s our Miley Cyrus, but her music still sounds all right.

Other things I’m up to right now… Hm hm hm… Oh yeah! I’m picking up aerials now. I’m signed up for the next three months doing every fundamentals they’re offering. I’m gonna have killer arms at the end of this!!! Rawr ^_^

That’s all I have to report today. HAPPY NEW YEAR!

A Familiar Face on SLEEPY HOLLOW

I knew it was coming; I knew two weeks ahead of time. Sleepy Hollow, a new, bat-shit crazy, awesome TV show on FOX, was going to feature someone I know.

I was attending a comedy show at AtomaCon. A friend of mine, Andy Rider was one of the comedians performing the first night of the event. Before the show started, Andy and I were catching up and then he says, “Hey you know Craig Trow, right?” I used to work with Craig at the movie theater. He was one of the more interesting co-workers I ever got along with and didn’t secretly hate. Anyway, Andy told me, “Yeah, he went up to North Carolina for a while for a role on Sleepy Hollow.” Whoa whoa whoa! Hold the phone! What? I knew Craig had landed an audition for something, but I never knew it was on a show I actually watch and like! I was giddy with excitement for him. I’m very much a person who gets super happy when I hear that a friend has landed a job he or she has always wanted. In Craig’s case, I got really excited for the direction his life is heading as an actor. Part of the reason he moved the States (he’s originally from Bristol, England), other than marrying his beautiful wife, was to further his career as an actor. That sort of thing is hard to do in Charleston, but it’s growing.

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Craig Trow as Lachlan Fredericks

Last night’s episode of Sleepy Hollow was about Ichabod Crane and Abbey Mills searching for a missing socialite. Her last known whereabouts was in an abandoned mansion once owned by a Lachlan Fredericks, with whom Ichabod and his wife Katrina were good friends. They discover the house is haunted and plagued by an evil entity. Throughout the episode, Abbey finds out some secrets that shake Ichabod’s world as he knew it via visions from a benevolent ghost that has been helping Abbey. We get to see flashbacks during Revolutionary times. That’s where Craig comes in. He plays Lachlan Fredericks, an abolitionist who grants anyone sanctuary as well as works towards freeing any slave who comes to him.

When we first meet Lachlan, I kinda squee’d at the TV. Even I hurt my own ears. It’s a good episode, and he played the role well. I hope I get to see Craig in more shows or movies in the near future!

The Growing Trend of Geek-Inspired Makeup

I did say that I was a super big Mass Effect fan, right? Well now you know.

For a while now, I’ve noticed this creeping trend of movie and geek inspired makeup. The ones I can think of off the top of my head are OPI’s Skyfall line of polish and CoverGirl’s Capitol Collection inspired by The Hunger Games: Catching Fire. While perusing the internet at the doctor’s office earlier today, a friend linked me to an online store that just came out with a new eyeshadow color. It is called “What’s Under the Helmet?” and it’s one of now eight in a Mass Effect-inspired collection of eyeshadow by Geek Chic Cosmetics.

We may never truly know what’s under Tali’s helmet (that altered stock photo cop-out in ME3 doesn’t count), but we do have a pretty good feeling that any Mass Effect fan with an eclectic taste in makeup may go batty for this.

One of the biggest suppliers of geeky makeup is Geek Chic Cosmetics who creates “vegan, gluten-free, cruelty-free loose mineral eyeshadows, foundations, blushes and scents as well as nail polish, lip glosses and lipsticks based on [their] geeky inspirations.” Seriously, the range goes from Portal to Supernatural to The Walking Dead.

There are some who know the perils of buying just any makeup (buying the right makeup is stupid hard and confusing). Some brands fill their products with various weird fillers (to keeps costs cheap and competitive) that may cause break outs, full-on allergic reactions, or just uncomfortable itching. The people at Geek Chic reassure that they “follow strict preparation and sanitation rules and conform with all FDA regulations” and are “careful to label any potential allergens very clearly, while leaving out the skin irritants….”

Being a first-time buyer of their products, I have yet to experience whether or not they are a worthwhile endeavor for me; however, I know plenty of my mutually geeky female friends already partook in some of Geek Chic’s custom formulas and have never turned back.

I just ordered the entire N7 and Portal Collection from Geek Chic’s Britain-based partner, Janine Basil (she had a couple more colors in the N7 Collection that Geek Chic no longer offered). Janine also carries these gorgeous fascinators and other hair accessories that I just adore. Darn my having only limited amounts of money! Where’s my water tower full of gold?

UPDATE: How could I forget Espionage Cosmetics?! They too have geeky cosmetic lines and look books that are pretty fun to pine over. They recently killed it on Kickstarter with their fabulously geeky nail art.

Espionage Cosmetics